You know how sometimes there’s a song (or songs) you associate with a certain time in your life? Maybe one day you’re riding in the bus or something and your mp3 is on shuffle and that song comes on. And suddenly you remember that moment, you remember where you were, you remember what you felt.

I was on the ferry back to the city area of Brunei en route to the airport after 10 days of Jungle Training. I was seated amongst a gaggle of fellow cadets; most of us had only just met at the start of the trip after receiving our new postings. The prevailing atmosphere was one of distinct torpor, the fruit of 3 hours on a boat with nothing but B-movies for entertainment. 

Most of the other guys had squirmed themselves into awkward-looking sleeping positions, their effects strewn around them. I sat, awake, listening to The Hush Sound; a particular collection of their songs I had only just started to listen to on the plane to Brunei.

Oddly, in my recollection I do not remember that I was in the least bit anxious to get home. I was looking forward to a phone signal and an internet connection, and looking forward to seeing friends and family. But the dominant emotion that I felt was not stress and anxiety, but one of immense and utter relief. Didn’t matter that we would be travelling for many more hours. Didn’t matter that our delayed flight had had us checked into a different army camp for one more night. I was simply glad to be on the way home.

I guess it’s a little bit sad that now I listen to those now-familiar tunes again, pining to once again feel that sense of relief. But somehow I know that if it comes, when it comes, it will be a different story, a different song. 

Just one, just about now would be a good time. 

Anonymous Asked
Questionwhat should i do on sad days? Answer

rubyetc:

Take a lot of baths. Walk somewhere quickly. Don’t write tomorrow off

  • Prof: ...A sharpened pencil can kill a person, you know? A sharpened pencil, straight up the nostrils. Straight to the brain.
  • Class: Auuughhh
  • Prof: That was the technique used by a student, actually, 2 sharp pencils. What she did was [that] she banged her head against the table.
  • Class: Auggghhhhhh
  • Prof: It's still ok to share this kind of information at this time in the year... You notice that I won't share this kind of information closer to the exams.

I’m fairly sure I don’t have the absolute shittiest lot in life, but today was fraught with equal measure of bad news and bad experience. And no, obviously the universe is not against me, but what perfect timing it had today.

I’m determined to hang on, but at this moment I’m wondering where that determination comes from and I don’t know if it will last. The indelibility of that which is unknown cannot be known. - How’s that for a pithy statement?

noogeroo:

He must find his own way to survive and prosper, turning challenge into opportunity.

a) Punching above his weight
b) Severely out of his depth
c) Merely feeling like he is b)
d) All of the above

- A pervasive feeling of being lost in every module
- Low rate of absorbtion when reading articles, cases, or any other literature
- Getting used to reading off a screen because paper is too wasteful/expensive
- Feeling inadequately prepared
- Feeling guilty about doing anything other than studying
- Not studying anyway
- Fighting away impulses to brush off things like eating, going to the toilet, and social interaction as wasting time

"The leisure and the fearful time
Cuts off the ceremonious vows of love
And ample interchange of sweet discourse,
Which so-long-sundered friends should dwell upon.
God give us leisure for these rites of love!
Once more, adieu. Be valiant, and speed well."

-Richard III, [5.3.101-107] (via noogeroo)

Seemed apt for the start of school… Where friendships are quantified by how many readings or sets of notes they will yield. 

Everytime you come up against opposition or difficulty or struggle, and you think to yourself, “That’s it, I’m falling apart”, and then you have to go through one more trial, and you don’t fall apart. That’s when you figure out that the edge of the cliff is further than you thought.